


Massage Therapy

by Plagedesable



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Confusion, Faux Sexy Times, Fluff, Humor (hopefully), M/M, Massage, Romantic Friendship, Smut, Tags Are Fun, Then Real Sexy Times, if that's even a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 07:12:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1378516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plagedesable/pseuds/Plagedesable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barnaby, tired of the endless hints Kotetsu keeps dropping, finally offers the old man a back rub. It doesn't really go the way Barnaby planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Massage Therapy

"Aaah," Kotetsu groaned, shifting under Barnaby. "Right there- ah, harder, Bunny, harder!" Barnaby's face flushed.

"OLD MAN!" he stopped moving, his expression embarrassed. Kotetsu made a little disappointed sound.

"Why'd you stop, Bunny?" Kotetsu shifted to send an accusatory glare towards the young man on top of him. Barnaby glared right back.

"When I agreed to give you a back massage, I wasn't planning on listening to all the sound effects!"

Kotetsu shrugged. "Consider the soundtrack a bonus."

Barnaby resisted the urge to give his partner a few good whacks.

The two men had been training together, and Barnaby, tired of the hints Kotetsu kept dropping, finally agreed to give Kotetsu a nice, long back massage. Barnaby was utterly exasperated with Kotetsu's tactless methods: never-ending muscle ache complaints, bottles of massage oil placed suggestively around the gym, fliers of DIY massage techniques- the last straw was "How to Make a Relationship Last: A Comprehensive Guide to Massage Therapy," a book dog-eared and sticky-noted at every full-color spread. Seriously- could the man be any less subtle?

Barnaby had finally sighed, rolled out a yoga mat, sat down, and offered Kotetsu a back massage. Grudgingly, of course.

Barnaby had anticipated trying a few half-hearted rubs before Kotetsu gave up on him and went to someone else for his back massage. He was not expecting Kotetsu to melt under his fingers, back nudging up into his hands, tight, hard muscles relaxing- and he was certainly not expecting those ridiculous, rumbling moans to ever leave Kotetsu's mouth.

For all Barnaby was concerned, Kotetsu was practically purring under his ministrations. Which, it goes without saying, made the younger man extraordinarily, immeasurably, exceptionally uncomfortable- and very confused, to boot.

He found himself stroking all of Kotetsu's scars, tracing the lines of his muscles, letting his fingers linger at the little dimples on his lower back… Barnaby even had to wipe away a tiny droplet of drool at the corner of his mouth that had mysteriously appeared (Barnaby was pretty sure he had just had lunch, but his mind wasn't really functioning properly at that point).

When Kotetsu started making little contented noises deep in his throat, Barnaby started to get worried. When they increased in volume to soft moans, Barnaby had to pinch himself. When they became full-on, loud, rumbling groans, moans, and sighs, Barnaby was tempted to punch himself- or his partner. Either one would do, if only to stop the sudden rush of blood to Barnaby's head (and other parts).

To make it all worse, as if sensing Barnaby's reactions and wanting to provoke him further, Kotetsu increased the volume and frequency of his moans, punctuating them with little gasps of "yes!" and "there, Bunny!" and "please, more, more!" until Bunny was about to explode.

And all of that led to this point, at which Barnaby finally managed to piece together the shards of his sanity into a Frankenstein of its original form.

"Stop making those noises, old man! You're too damn loud!" Barnaby pushed his glasses up- and no, he was not trying to get a better look at Kotetsu's muscles, perish the thought!

Kotetsu stretched underneath him, all lean and sinewy. Barnaby swallowed at the sudden dryness in his mouth.

He shook his head, his blond curls nudged into disarray. Keep it cool, Barnaby, keep it cool.

But then Kotetsu twisted around to look up at him, made a little pout, and complained, "But Bunny, it felt so good!"

At Barnaby's utterly dumbfounded expression, Kotetsu flipped himself back over, and commanded, "Keep going, Bunny." Barnaby, making the logical decision, immediately obeyed, his hands beginning to move again over Kotetsu's back.

For an old man, his back was beau- nice. Very nice.

Toned, Barnaby supposed. His muscles were supple, moving under Barnaby's fingers as he kneaded them. His skin was tanned, but strangely soft and smooth, except for the little scars from Hero work that dotted his back. The scars created little indents in his skin that Barnaby felt himself tracing over again and again, before he remembered himself and went back to rubbing at the tightness in Kotetsu's shoulders and lower back.

His hands began to move mechanically as he tried to block out those distracting thoughts. The moans, the sheen on Kotetsu's skin from the massage oil, the way he shifted and moved underneath him.

Every second seemed an hour to the long-suffering Barnaby. He grew more and more flustered as time went on, as Kotetsu's breath came heavier and his moans more sensual, his body twitching and pliant under Barnaby's fingertips.

Barnaby just gave up. He was tempted to find Mr. Lloyds and demand a new partner- one in less sexy packaging, preferably with a less sexy voice.

When Kotetsu let out one more sigh, this one so contented and deep it knocked away Barnaby's breath, Barnaby finally sprung up and near sprinted away.

"Wait! Bunny, where are you going?" Kotetsu called, his voice still relaxed and a little husky with sleep.

Barnaby just kept going, his legs moving faster than he ever thought possible. If he turned around now, he might never be able to face Kotetsu again- how the hell was he supposed to explain his obvious, painfully hard erection? Yeah, Kotetsu, sorry about that- nothing's up, I was just about to attack you because I got a little too turned on from giving you a back massage. No big deal.

NO. No. Never going to happen.

The heavy metal doors slammed shut behind Barnaby as he fled, and Kotetsu pulled himself into a sitting position with a sigh.

"Well, you win the bet," a voice called out from behind the treadmills. Nathan popped out, winking at Kotetsu as he dragged Antonio from behind the exercise balls, where he had been hiding, completely red-faced.

Kotetsu sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "He didn't last as long as I expected him to," he admitted. "That was only seven minutes and forty seven seconds… I was expecting him to break the ten minute mark!"

Antonio, his face hidden in his hands, muttered a "Yeah, I don't think so." He shot Kotetsu a glare. "How could you subject your poor partner to sounds like that and expect him to be able to take it?!"

Nathan grinned at that. "I thought Handsome would be more than happy to straddle Tiger and make him moan."

This time was Kotetsu's turn to blush, but he soon rolled his eyes and retorted, "Shut up, Nathan. I only agreed to this because you bet fifty bucks Bunny wouldn't last five minutes."

Nathan shrugged. "Well, the boy is young… I thought for sure I would double my investment." While he was talking, he elbowed Antonio with an exaggerated wink. "Let's not forget about the guy who thought Handsome would be able to give Tiger a full hour massage with no problem."

"I didn't expect him to sound… like that!" Antonio protested weakly. Kotetsu raised an eyebrow.

"Like what?" he asked. Antonio and Nathan both gawked at him.

"Uh, Tiger dear, you aren't perhaps going deaf in your old age?"

Kotetsu scowled. Nathan resisted the very tempting urge to roll his eyes. These two partners were both dense as rocks.

"Kotetsu, if you weren't purposely making those sounds to make Bunny uncomfortable… what the hell were you betting for?" Antonio asked, shell-shocked. Kotetsu shrugged.

"Well, my muscles really are all knotted up and tight. I thought his hands would get tired after a bit…" Kotetsu trailed off. "But, it felt so much better than I thought! He really has a magic touch or something!"

Antonio and Nathan exchanged looks. Those two… they really needed to work on their concept of denial.

 

That night, Barnaby was haunted by memories of Kotetsu's moans and movements. When he woke up in the morning, he lifted the waistband of his boxers, and proceeded to curse, several times.

The next morning, for the first time ever, he was late to work, and Kotetsu couldn't for the life of him figure out why Barnaby avoided him the entire day…


	2. Peace Offerings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kotetsu is confused, Barnaby is confused, they get drunk, things happen.

Kotetsu was perplexed.

No matter how many times he wracked his brain, he could not figure out why Barnaby was avoiding him. He thought their relationship was finally going well for a change, but now, BOOM, the younger man wouldn't even meet his eyes.

Kotetsu sighed. Nothing he tried had worked- and he couldn't be blamed for not trying hard enough, that's for sure. The number of peace offerings had piled up on Barnaby's desk over the course of the day, surmounting to a pile taller than the Liberty Tower (with only slight exaggeration). Coffee cups (each with two sugars and a dash of cream, just the way Barnaby liked), roast beef sandwiches, pieces of cinnamon gum, notes with smiley faces, strawberry-flavored hard candies- there were even a couple stuffed animals. Kotetsu had plopped a plush tiger and bunny right down in front of Barnaby, arranging them so they were holding paws. When the blond pointedly ignored him, Kotetsu, realizing he had not been obvious enough, ran off, got a sticky note, wrote "FRIENDS" on it, and stuck it over the plushies' joined paws.

Well, it got him an eyebrow twitch and a glare.

Now, Kotetsu was sulking at his desk, using his despair as an excuse to avoid that pesky pile of paperwork Mr. Lloyds had insisted on him filling out. He had signed up to work as a Hero, not some sort of… paper-filler-outer!

He sighed- probably for the fiftieth time that day.  _Bunnnyyyyy, pay attention to meeeeeee_ he whined in his head, sending a pleading look towards Barnaby. As if sensing the attention, the younger man's head jerked up. When he saw Kotetsu staring at him with bright eyes and a happy expression at finally being noticed, he got up, and promptly left the office room.

"Bunny, where are you going?" Kotetsu called after him.  _What'd I do now?_

Barnaby didn't even turn to look back. "To get some coffee," he growled. Kotetsu immediately turned to look at the twenty-or-so peace-offering coffee cups on Barnaby's desk.

 _I bet he wanted one with more sugar_ , Kotetsu thought forlornly.

 

* * *

 

 

Meanwhile, Barnaby was having a mild panic attack near the espresso machine in the break room. He had nearly pounced on Kotetsu when he placed the "FRIENDS" sticky note over the stuffed animals. Really? Really? Was he trying to test Barnaby's self-control? That was too damn cute for it to be unintentional.

He was already feeling guilty for… for thinking of his partner like that.  _Kotetsu is an annoying old man who has no standards of sanitation and lives on fried rice and mayo,_ Barnaby reminded himself.  _He is not sexy. Even if his voice is. And his back. And those muscles… NO!_

The mental turmoil was exhausting him. So, Barnaby decided that the only solution was to avoid Kotetsu like the plague. Yes. That would definitely make everything work out.

No better solution for your problems than running from them.

Barnaby sighed- probably for the fiftieth time that day. He got his coffee, stirred in two sugars and a dash of cream, and while sipping the much-needed caffeine (which, Barnaby hoped, would cure his pounding headache), walked back to his desk.

The sight that greeted him made him want to cry. Lo and behold, the very problem he was trying to avoid was sprawled out over his desk with a stubborn pout painted across his features. Kotetsu was firmly gripping the tiger and bunny plush toys to his chest, and- was he talking to them? Barnaby was tempted to walk over to a wall and slam his head against it.

As he got closer, he realized that Kotetsu was indeed talking to them- or rather, pantomiming something.

"I hate you, stupid old man!" Kotetsu shrilled in falsetto- or rather, shrilled the pink bunny plushy, which Kotetsu manipulated into a leaping, angry ball of fur. Kotetsu then pushed the tiger plushy's head down into a sad tilt.

"But, why, Bunny? What did I do wrong?" the tiger's voice was gruff and melodramatically sad. The pink bunny huffed and turned its head away.

"My hands are all tired from yesterday, and it took me two whole hours to open my car doors! I was late to work for the first time in my life! It's all your fault!" The pink bunny whacked the tiger on the head, and Kotetsu pouted along with the tiger plushie.

Yes, that wall was looking very tempting. Barnaby cursed inwardly.  _Is the old man entirely without brain cells? My hands are tired? Really? Well, I guess that's a better alternative than what really happened…_

Barnaby groaned- he had finally reached his desk. No more avoiding the problem. Kotetsu looked up at him, then looked away sullenly.

"Why are you at my desk, old man?" Barnaby asked, his voice impressively neutral. Barnaby congratulated himself on his poker face.

Kotetsu looked back up at him, and nearly erupted in tears. "I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU LATE FOR WORK, BUNNY!" Barnaby nearly had to plug his ears at the ruckus Kotetsu was making, but the old man wasn't done yet. "I promise to give you a hand massage to make it feel better!"

Yup, the wall was getting more and more tempting.

Barnaby rubbed his aching temples with his hand. "Look, Kotetsu, my hands are not in excruciating pain- as a matter of fact, they're not in any sort of pain. At all. So, with that cleared up, can you please go back to your desk and do some actual work?"

"You…" Kotetsu began, biting his lip.  _Now what?_ Barnaby thought irritably. "You… called me Kotetsu! Not old man! This must mean… you forgive me?!"

Barnaby resisted the urge to sigh. "Yes."  _Not that there was anything to forgive- it's all my fault, anyway. Damn carnal urges._

Oblivious to Barnaby's thoughts, Kotetsu beamed at the younger man. "Ah, gee, that's great! I was so worried. I thought I had done something horrible when you ignored even those hard candies you love!"

"I'm pretty sure those are the hard candies  _you_  love," Barnaby muttered. Kotetsu frowned.

"But I thought you liked them, too!" he protested. Barnaby shrugged.

"They're all right," he conceded.  _Why is Kotetsu eyeing my coffee like that…?_  But the older man was already lunging for the cup in Barnaby's hands, and as soon as he got a grip on it, he raised it to his mouth and took a gulp.

The first thought that rushed through Barnaby's mind was that Kotetsu had basically just kissed him- well, exchanged spit with him, but same difference. The next thought was a violent barrage of insults for thinking like a teenage girl- indirect kisses, really?

Now Kotetsu was frowning again.  _God, will I ever know how this man thinks? Or if he thinks at all?_

"Bunny, you  _do_  take your coffee with two sugars and cream," Kotetsu confirmed slowly, weighing the words in his mouth.

"Yes, I do." Barnaby wasn't exactly sure where this was heading.

"See, I do know what you like! I always pay attention to my partner," Kotetsu concluded, grinning. He kept smiling at Barnaby even as he patted him on the back, got up, and migrated back to his desk.

Barnaby just sunk himself wordlessly into the now-vacated seat. Kotetsu… always managed to pull him into his pace.

Luckily, however, the rest of the day passed without much incident. Sure, Barnaby was a little muddled for the majority of it, finding typos and mistakes and catching himself smiling each time he took a sip from his long-cold coffee- but his sanity quickly kicked back in every time he felt his face subconsciously break out into a grin, muffling it down with a frown. He kept trying to throw his cup of coffee out, but somehow his fingers wouldn't let go even when his hand was right above the trash can, leading to extremely awkward moments throughout the day as he stood, like an idiot, in front of a trash can. Doing nothing.

On his part, Kotetsu, feeling pleased with himself for what he perceived as mending his relationship with Barnaby, didn't bother the younger man much until they were heading out to go home.

Barnaby was just heaving a sigh of relief at having endured the day when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Kotetsu standing there with a big grin spread across his face. His heart sunk.

"Bunny, let's go back to your place!" Kotetsu proposed, hoisting two six-packs of beer up for Barnaby to see. He winked. "I still don't really get why you were mad at me today, but some alcohol will do the trick in making you spill!"

"No thanks, old man," Barnaby said. "I've got some… things."  _Real suave. Things._

Kotetsu looked disappointed. "Well, can you come over to my place?"

Barnaby sighed, "How would that make a difference? I'll have things to do if I'm at your place or mine."

Kotetsu contemplated this for a second. He started to look sad, then suddenly perked back up.  _Oh, God no, he's thought of something._

"Whatever hare-brained scheme you've just thought up, count me out," Barnaby snapped, trying to dissuade any of Kotetsu's ideas preemptively. He brushed past the older man and reached for his car door, sliding in and buckling his seat belt. He breathed a sigh of relief- until he noticed Kotetsu sliding into the passenger seat.

"What are you doing?" Barnaby asked, his voice calm, contrary to his inner monologue, which consisted of mainly gibberish.

"I'm going to come home with you!" Kotetsu said, immovable. He shot a look at Barnaby, daring him to contradict.

Barnaby could feel his headache coming back. "I said I have things."

Kotetsu shrugged. "Yeah, but since you can't seem to clarify these "things", I'm assuming you don't really have anything to do and are just trying to avoid me."

Barnaby was still surprised whenever Kotetsu pulled something like this- for someone so dense, he was surprisingly perceptive at times. Which didn't bode well for Barnaby's current situation.

But, what could he do now? The little demon inside him was encouraging Barnaby to take Kotetsu home- take Kotetsu home, get him really, really drunk, and then ravish him. The teenage girl also agreed, but his sanity protested very loudly that this was a horrible idea if Barnaby had any intention of remaining friends and partners with Kotetsu.

The demons and teenage girls prevailed, as they always do.

 

* * *

 

 

On the ride home to Barnaby's apartment, Kotetsu smiled and chatted and poked around Barnaby's glove compartments and cup holders and pressed every button on the dashboard until Barnaby snapped at him irritably (which effectively stopped the older man for approximately two minutes).

They finally arrived at Barnaby's apartment, and when they entered the large, empty area, Kotetsu sighed.

"Man, it's always so dark and cold in here, Bunny. Can't you afford some lights and heating?" Kotetsu flopped down on an armchair while Barnaby flipped on said lights and turned up said heating.

"Old man, if you're just going to complain, go home and stop messing with me," Barnaby sighed, his voice tired. Kotetsu grinned and shook his finger at the younger man.

"Oh, no, we're going to have a grand ole time drinking and chatting, like real partners!" Kotetsu ripped open one of his beer packs, and tossed a can to Barnaby.

Barnaby looked down at the brand, and raised an eyebrow.

"Can't  _you_  afford some better beer?" he asked disapprovingly. Kotetsu stuck his tongue out at Barnaby.

"Sure, but I like this brand! If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?" Kotetsu popped his can open and took a swig. Barnaby looked hesitantly down at his. At Kotetsu's urging, he finally opened it and drank. It was… okay. Sort of disgusting, but Barnaby admittedly had always preferred wine.

Speaking of which… Barnaby headed towards his kitchen, with Kotetsu trailing behind him.

"What're you up to, Bunny?" he asked, finishing off the last of his first can with a happy sigh. Barnaby glanced back at the older man before pulling out his drawers.

"Don't you remember, old man? I have all this nice, vintage wine, and you're drinking cheap beer?" Barnaby pulled out a bottle of wine. One of his cheaper ones, sure, but it was still expensive in comparison to Kotetsu's beer.

Kotetsu's eyes lit up. "I've never been any kind of connoisseur, but I like good wine as much as the next guy!"

And, thus, they proceeded to get very, very drunk. After an hour or two, despite Barnaby's earlier protests, the only remnants of the two packages of beer were empty cans, and a multitude of partially-empty wine bottles littered the floor (the two had decided, after a few too many drinks, that it would be a great idea to open and sample all of Barnaby's most expensive wines, a fact Barnaby would sincerely regret in the morning).

Barnaby and Kotetsu were now both sprawled across Barnaby's couch. Barnaby had collapsed on the couch and Kotetsu had proceeded to collapse on top of him. Barnaby shifted under the older man.

"Oi, get off," he complained, "You're heavy." Kotetsu mumbled something unintelligible. Barnaby shifted again, this time more violently. Kotetsu groaned, and flopped onto the ground, jarring himself out of his stupor.

"Ouch!" he protested weakly, lying prostrate. Barnaby crawled to the edge of the sofa and looked down at him.

"Are you all right, old man? Didn't pull your back on the way down, did you?" Barnaby asked with a smirk. Kotetsu glared at him.

"Shut up," he growled. He reached up, grabbed Barnaby's arm, and before the younger man could react, had him pulled down and in his grasp.

Kotetsu cackled as Barnaby squirmed in his arms. "Let go of me, old man!"

"Nope," Kotetsu replied, "It's punishment time!" But instead of doing anything, Kotetsu just held the younger man until he stopped flailing around, holding him so his back was to Kotetsu's chest.

"What do you think you're doing, weirdo?" Barnaby asked irritably, after he realized resistance was futile. His alcohol-hazed mind registered somewhere that he was being held by Kotetsu, and a slow flush rose onto his cheeks, adding to the redness the alcohol had produced.

"I'm sorry, Bunny," Kotetsu murmured, burying his face in Barnaby's blond curls. Barnaby wriggled, startled.

"Sorry for what?" he asked confusedly.  _He can't still be on about that ridiculous hand-pain theory of his._

"Sorry for betting Nathan and Antonio fifty bucks you would only last past five minutes massaging me." Kotetsu held Barnaby closer when he felt the younger man tense.

"Haaaaah?" Barnaby was first astounded, but he soon grew furious.  _So all those noises… were on purpose? The bastard was making me uncomfortable on purpose to win some damn bet- so it_ _was_ _his fault I was late?_

"In my defense, Nathan bet you would last less than five!" Kotetsu exclaimed.  _Man, he is really not helping himself here._

Barnaby turned around and glared at Kotetsu- the proximity only made him more frightening. Kotetsu held up his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry, Bunny!" But Barnaby just kept glaring at him.

"So," Barnaby hissed, "You were purposefully making those damn noises?" Kotetsu looked perplexed.

"What noises?" he asked innocently. Now, it was Barnaby's turn to be perplexed.  _He can't possibly… have not noticed?_

But knowing Kotetsu, it was completely possible.

Barnaby sighed, and started massaging his head- he felt like headaches were inevitable when dealing with Kotetsu. He stopped suddenly when he felt another pair of hands over his. They stroked through his hair softly and rubbed at his temples, massaging away the aches of stress and alcohol.

"Sorry, Bunny," Kotetsu said again, and Barnaby shivered at the breath so close to his ears. "I won't do it again- I didn't realize your hands hurt badly enough for you to rush off like that and ignore me the next day." Barnaby resigned himself to the fact that his partner was 100% an idiot, through and through.

"You're really stupid," Barnaby said with a sigh.  _Ah, whatever._

"Well, sorry for not being smart!" Kotetsu retorted. Despite his words, though, his voice carried no trace of offense, and he kept stroking Barnaby's hair, massaging his scalp and temples, gently but firmly. Barnaby sighed in pleasure.

"Here, I'll return the favor," Kotetsu said, dropping his hands from Barnaby's head. He got up, and Barnaby nearly voiced a complaint at the absence of heat at his back, but he bit it back. Kotetsu dropped down again, this time so he and Barnaby were face to face. Barnaby turned his away embarrassedly.  _Damn alcohol is making it harder to stay calm…_

"It's easier this way," Kotetsu explained, grabbing one of Barnaby's hands in his own. "Sorry if this hurts…" he said apologetically.

Then, he began kneading.

His thumbs rubbed at the junction between Barnaby's thumb and index finger, massaging out tension Barnaby hadn't even known was there. He moved across each junction, tenderly rubbing and kneading and pressing. He then started massaging the palms of Barnaby's hands, lightly pressing little circles. It felt ticklish, but strangely… nice.

He pulled lightly on Barnaby's fingers, almost teasingly, and then he was moving further down to the base of his hands. He pressed firmly along the base, easing tension- to Barnaby, it almost seemed like he was realigning his bones.  _He should be a masseuse. A hand masseuse. Yeah. A hand masseuse._ Barnaby's thoughts didn't really make much sense at this point- the alcohol, the relaxing feeling of Kotetsu's hands on his own, the warmth from his body…

And then Kotetsu moved down to his wrists and his touch was so delicate his fingertips just brushed against Barnaby's skin, and an involuntary shiver ran down the younger man's spine.

Barnaby was becoming more and more convinced that the hands were an erogenous zone- one they just forgot to tell you about during sex-ed.

Kotetsu had stopped when Barnaby twitched. "Sorry, are your wrists sensitive? The skin there is pretty thin." When Barnaby didn't respond, Kotetsu looked down worriedly. "Oiiii, Bunny, what's wrong?"

Barnaby had tucked his chin in, shielding his face from view. Kotetsu reached down and tipped his head up. "Hehe, what's this, you're all red! Does it feel that good?"

Barnaby flushed. "Shut up, old man! It just feels weird!" Kotetsu frowned.

"Aw, really? But I was trying so hard…" Kotetsu's jaw set in determination, and before Barnaby knew what was happening, he was on his stomach and Kotetsu was straddling him.

Panic set in. "What in the world are you doing?!" Barnaby cried, kicking and flailing. Kotetsu grunted when one of Barnaby's arms flapped into his stomach.

"Stop moving around, I'm just going to give you a back massage!" Kotetsu pinned Barnaby's arms down.

"How the hell are you supposed to give me a massage if you're pinning me down with your hands? What are you going to massage me with? Your feet?" Barnaby demanded, wriggling in Kotetsu's grip.

"Well, if you'd stop struggling, we wouldn't have this problem!" Kotetsu growled.

_Ah. Good point._

Barnaby stopped moving, and resigned himself to his fate. How did the older man expect him to keep his control if Kotetsu's hands were wandering all over his body? It was already hanging on its hinges as is.

Kotetsu, in the meantime, just perched on top of Barnaby complacently, not moving, savoring his victory. Barnaby reached over and whacked him on the leg.

"If you're going to move, move already!" Barnaby glared up at the older man, who just sighed in response.

"Patience is a virtue." Kotetsu looked down at Barnaby. "Well, aren't you going to take your shirt off?"

_What?_

"What?" Barnaby was seriously irritated now. "Just do it with my shirt on!"

Kotetsu pouted. "But it won't be the same that way." Barnaby shifted under Kotetsu uncomfortably.

"Fine." Barnaby shifted again and then stopped. "How the hell am I supposed to take off my shirt if you're sitting on me?" he snapped.

"Right." Kotetsu obligingly got off and sat in front of Barnaby.

_Damnit. This is not going to end well._

But Barnaby just sighed and started unbuttoning his shirt.  _Ah, what the heck._ And when his shirt was nearly off, Kotetsu pounced on him again.

"Argh, are you going to make a habit of this, old man?" Barnaby grumbled, disgruntled as his head whacked against the ground. Kotetsu just shot Barnaby a look, and proceeded to place his hands on the younger man's back.

Barnaby let out a very girlish shriek. "For the love of- why are your hands so damn cold?"

"Shut up, they'll warm up in a bit," Kotetsu retorted. And his hands began moving over Barnaby's back, stroking and kneading at the muscles. They first prodded across the entire area, almost like he was conducting an assessment. "Man, Bunny, you're really tense."

Barnaby didn't bother responding, and just gave in. Not like any of his protests ever made a difference anyway.

Kotetsu just kept massaging, and his hands felt so… incredibly nice against Barnaby's skin. They had indeed warmed up, like Kotetsu said, and they were hot now, almost too hot- it was like they left a trail of heat wherever they touched. Barnaby felt Kotetsu's callouses, rough across Barnaby's back, but somehow they still felt good, even when Kotetsu rubbed a little too hard. The big pads of his fingers kneaded into Barnaby's shoulders, easing tension and smoothing away aches. He used the palms of his hand to sweep over Barnaby's back, relaxing him and making him go limp under the older man.

Barnaby let out an involuntary sigh, and Kotetsu's movements abruptly ceased.

"What's wrong, old man?" Barnaby asked.  _That felt really good._

"Nothing," Kotetsu murmured, "It's just that your skin is really soft and smooth."

Barnaby spluttered. "What the hell, old man? That's so creepy!"

Kotetsu ignored his outburst. "Do you use lotion or something? Wait, how would you moisturize your back? I guess it must be natural. Is all of you like this?"

And without waiting for a response, Kotetsu flipped Barnaby over and was abruptly staring at his chest.

"Man, you have basically no chest hair!" Kotetsu accompanied his words with a stroke down Barnaby's torso, his fingertips trailing over the skin. He accidentally brushed over a nipple, sending a shiver down Barnaby's spine.

_Eeek!_

"Eeek!" Barnaby cried, whacking at the offending hands. "This is abuse!" Kotetsu rolled his eyes. Barnaby proceeded to bury his face in his hands.  _This… idiot!_

"Shut up, Bunny, I'm just curious." But when Kotetsu looked a little closer at his partner, he realized the younger man was flushed red up to his ears, hiding behind his hands, and laying stock still beneath Kotetsu.

"Ohoho, what's this?" Kotetsu asked evilly. "Is the great and stoic Barnaby Brooks Jr. embarrassed?" He laughed- Barnaby was tempted to shove a pillow over his face to smother the noise. But Kotetsu wasn't done. "It's okay, Bunny! I guess you're just not as a furry as your namesake!"

A beat. And then, Barnaby twitched. And let out an unanticipated chuckle. "Oi, old man. If you're going to make bad jokes, at least make them in good taste," he said with a little smile. "That was just awful."

Kotetsu just beamed. "Hey, at least you finally smiled! Man, you were in a bad mood all day. Kotetsu-tactics, success!"

Barnaby wasn't sure whether he should laugh or cry. "So, your method of making me smile is just to bother the hell out of me?"

"Yes." Kotetsu didn't seem apologetic at all.  _As simple as ever._

"Ah, whatever," Barnaby groaned. "Just get off of me. We should clean up this mess and go to bed." Kotetsu cast a sweeping look across Barnaby's living room floor, and his heart sank.

"Aw, Bunny, can't we do it tomorrow morning?" Kotetsu whined. Any cleaning was too much cleaning in Kotetsu's mind.

"No." Barnaby started to get up, and then froze.

 _No. No… no no no. This can't be happening._ He abruptly flipped back over onto his stomach.

Kotetsu stared at him, confused at the erratic behavior. "Uh, Bunny, didn't you just say we were going to go clean? I mean, no complaints if you decided against it, but you should probably sleep on the sofa or on your bed. The floor is too cold."

But Barnaby didn't move. "It's fine here. Nice and relaxing."  _Goddamn it. I thought excessive amounts of alcohol were supposed to inhibit… um… ere – damn it, getting hard._

Kotetsu prodded at his partner's back, oblivious. "Get up, Bunny, you'll catch a cold!"  _I am up._ Barnaby retorted wryly in his head. He was then tempted to whack his head against the floor- Kotetsu was clearly a bad influence on him

Still, he didn't say anything aloud, and when Barnaby didn't respond, Kotetsu sighed. And then, before, the younger man knew what was happening, he felt himself being lifted up into the air.

Kotetsu was carrying him, bridal style. Barnaby shouted a protest, pounded on Kotetsu's chest in disapproval, and squirmed in an effort to hide his arousal.  _Why did I not notice this earlier? What am I, fourteen?_

"Stop struggling," Kotetsu complained, adjusting his hold, "At least let  _me_ carry you for once." Barnaby finally settled on the method of lying still and pretending he was an inanimate object. Hopefully it worked.

It didn't.

Kotetsu successfully brought Barnaby to his bedroom, but just as he was about to dump him unceremoniously onto the bed, he froze.

"Uh, Bunny," he began, clearing his throat. "Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom or something? To you know. Take care of that."

Barnaby wanted to die.  _Why the hell did the old man have to point it out? He could have just ignored it, you know, like any other discreet human being would._ He silently begged for Kotetsu to put him down and just walk away. Although, if he was being completely honest, he didn't really want that, either.

But Kotetsu just kept holding Barnaby up, as if unsure where to proceed.

"Uh, Bunny, you don't have to be embarrassed," Kotetsu said awkwardly. "It's natural, right? And you're young. And you're… young."

Barnaby couldn't help snorting in laughter. "God, old man, you're so awkward," he couldn't help but say. Kotetsu shrugged, secretly relieved at Barnaby finally saying anything at all, even if it was an insult. He gently placed Barnaby down, who immediately turned away from the older man.

Now, all of a sudden, they were unsure how to proceed. The haze of alcohol seemed replaced by an unwelcome clarity, and neither man was sure how to suddenly be (or act) drunk enough to get out of this awkward situation unscathed.

Barnaby was too stricken with embarrassment to move, and Kotetsu was too busy wondering why he suddenly found his partner extraordinarily cute, as he lay shirtless, flushed, and curled up on the bed. Earlier, too, Kotetsu had found himself stroking Barnaby's body with less than innocent thoughts. He was so… pale. And pink. And his skin was so soft. It was such a strange contrast to the strong, overbearing person Barnaby normally was that it made Kotetsu more than a little uncomfortable.

Even now, Kotetsu had an urge to sit down next to Barnaby, push him down, and help him in getting rid of that unwanted arousal.

Instead, Kotetsu cleared his throat to fill the silence. "Um. So, I'll go uh, clear some bottles away." Barnaby nodded silently, his back to Kotetsu.

Kotetsu started to leave, but he made the mistake of turning around before he walked out the door.

And he met Barnaby's eyes. Mistake. They were watering with embarrassment, and when Kotetsu's eyes latched onto them, they dropped, staring at the mattress. And Kotetsu could, even from the door, see those long, sweeping eyelashes sitting dark and wet on Barnaby's cheeks. When Barnaby bit his bottom lip, worrying it with his teeth and making blood rush to the surface, painting them pinker than ever- that was the last straw.

"Shit," Kotetsu growled, but he was already across the room and pinning Barnaby down.

The younger man's eyes shot open, and he flailed, very ungracefully. "OLD MAN! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

But instead of answering, Kotetsu kissed him- or more accurately, he mashed his lips onto Barnaby's, locking them and swallowing whatever words of protest Barnaby could utter.

He swept his tongue across Barnaby's lower lip, and sighed into his mouth.

Barnaby was in a state of shock. What- what the hell was happening? Wha-

But Kotetsu interrupted his thoughts by deepening their kiss- he eased up on the pressure, and gently nibbled on Barnaby's lower lip, sending a jolt down his spine. Before he knew what was happening, Barnaby was returning Kotetsu's kiss with passion, stroking against Kotetsu's lips and pushing his tongue into Kotetsu's mouth, teasing his tongue lightly before flicking back. Kotetsu ground his hips against Barnaby's, and the younger man noticed with a jolt that Kotetsu was hard, too.

_Shit._

They broke contact, each breathing heavily, their faces flushed. Barnaby looked up at Kotetsu, questions swimming in his eyes. Kotetsu flushed embarrassedly, reaching up to push his hair out of his face.

"Uh," he said, as articulately as he could manage. Kotetsu tried again. "Uh." Not much better. "Uh… sorry."

Barnaby just looked at him. "Sorry?" he repeated. His heart sank.  _If the old man tells me this is a mistake and runs off, I will kill him._

Kotetsu looked growingly guilty. "Sorry. Sorry. I mean, we're both drunk, and…" but Kotetsu didn't finish his sentence because Barnaby had re-covered his lips with his own.

"Shut up, old man. If you're going to blame it on the alcohol, do it in the morning," he growled, low in Kotetsu's ears. Kotetsu's face was shocked, but then he smiled that stupid smile Barnaby loved so much.

"All right, then, I'll take this as express consent," Kotetsu grinned, a mischievous light shining in his eyes. He rolled over on top of Barnaby, and kissed him again.

Barnaby couldn't keep from moaning against his mouth when he felt the older man's hand snaking up his chest to pinch at his nipples. He let his fingertips drag over the little nubs until they were hard and peaked and sensitive. Barnaby let out a curse when Kotetsu lifted his mouth from Barnaby's and planted it on top of one of his nipples.

"Shit, Kotetsu," he cried, half in protest, half in request. Kotetsu looked up at him as he flicked a tongue over the nipple, before latching on and sucking hard. Barnaby gasped.

Kotetsu soon had Barnaby wriggling underneath him as he continued laving the younger man's nipples with his tongue, worrying them between his teeth, nibbling gently on the skin around them, sucking and lapping with embarrassingly loud wet noises.

"Stop… it," Barnaby managed to gasp out. Kotetsu lifted his head, confused.

"Why? You seem to be enjoying it." Barnaby glared at him, pushing him back when he tried to go back to sucking on his nipples.

"Shut up. I want to touch you, too."  _Did I just say that?_ Barnaby managed to look serious despite the blush painting his cheeks. Kotetsu grinned, and lay down, seemingly pleased with Barnaby's words- he expected something like that from the demanding partner he knew.

"All right, have at me." It was said like a challenge.  _Fine_ , Barnaby thought,  _challenge_   _accepted_. First things first, these pesky clothes need to come off… Barnaby made short work of Kotetsu's shirt, vest, pants and socks, leaving him in only his underwear.

Barnaby raised an eyebrow. "You know, Kotetsu… you're a grown man. No, you're an old man." Kotetsu glared at Barnaby, but he kept talking, "Don't you think wearing Hero-themed underwear is a little embarrassing? Especially considering it's Wild Tiger underwear?" Kotetsu blushed, and protested loudly.

"It's not like I was expecting anyone to see it!"

Barnaby snickered. "I bet  _your_  Wild Tiger appreciates it," he joked, snaking his hand into Kotetsu's underwear.

Kotetsu flinched at the contact, then laughed. "You have my permission to hit me if I ever make a joke that bad."

Barnaby rolled his eyes. "That's basically every joke you make." But before Kotetsu could protest, Barnaby began stroking his length, and all words escaped him.

Barnaby had never really done this for anyone but himself, but the two were both men- so Barnaby could figure it out.

He leaned over Kotetsu as he kept stroking, alternating his speed and pressure, fast, hard, slow, light, fast… it seemed to be working, judging from the look on Kotetsu's face. When Barnaby scraped a finger over the tip, he could feel the older man shiver beneath him as he moaned.

"Bunny," he sighed, locking one arm around the younger man's head and bringing it down to meet his lips. His other hand worked off Barnaby's belt and pants, sliding them down his hips, so he could grasp the younger man's erection.

"Ah!" Barnaby gasped into Kotetsu's lips. Kotetsu smirked.

"Feeling good, Bunny?" he asked impishly. Barnaby glared at him, and increased the speed of his strokes, reaching down and fondling Kotetsu's balls gently. Kotetsu groaned.

"Feeling good, Tiger?" Barnaby asked mockingly. Kotetsu just grinned up at him.

"Yeah, I am," he admitted, and then Barnaby's lips were on his own again, licking and nibbling and pressing greedily. Both of their strokes sped up, and Barnaby whimpered into Kotetsu as Kotetsu moaned into Barnaby.

"Wait, wait," Kotetsu gasped. Barnaby looked up, his eyes hazed.

"What's wrong?" he managed to ask. He nuzzled his nose into Kotetsu's chest.

"You're so cute," Kotetsu couldn't help but say. Barnaby glared at him, but before he could protest, Kotetsu continued. "Let go for a second."

Barnaby looked confused, but he grudgingly complied. And right after he let go, Kotetsu had flipped them over so he was straddling the younger man. Barnaby let out a squawk in surprise, but Kotetsu pressed himself firmly against the younger man and ground their cocks together. Barnaby cried out- it felt so strange, but so good, to feel Kotetsu's hard length pressed against his, hot and pulsing and…

Spurred on by Barnaby's moans, Kotetsu gripped their cocks together and  _rubbed_ , and Barnaby made a little noise in the back of his throat that made Kotetsu want to make him cry out, full voice.

So Kotetsu kept rubbing and pulling, and Barnaby, never one to be a passive player, snuck his hands down and helped, until both of them were stroking and moaning and when Barnaby stroked across both of their tips, they both cried out, on the brink.

Their hands were everywhere- stroking each other, pressing against each other, tousling hair, pinching and stroking nipples, scratching along well-muscled backs.

And Barnaby scraped his teeth along Kotetsu's neck, and the older man groaned, and Barnaby cried out as Kotetsu nibbled at his collarbone and lapped at the dip in his throat before he licked his hands and continued stroking, adding more wetness to the pre-come that was dripping down both of their cocks, mingling together until no one knew what was whose.

Barnaby felt the pounding in his head, drowning out everything but the feeling of Kotetsu's wet, hard cock against his own- and it turned him on so much to feel it rubbing against his own and when Kotetsu licked at his lips, he took Kotetsu's tongue into his mouth and suckled, and they both groaned in pleasure.

"Shit, Bunny," Kotetsu growled, nipping at Barnaby's ears. The younger man shivered at the sensation, arching his chest to press against Kotetsu's in response.

And Kotetsu reached up a hand to rub at Barnaby's nipples, and Barnaby cried out as Kotetsu simultaneously continued massaging his cock, stroking the tip with his thumb and pressing at the little slit oozing pre-come and then Kotetsu ground his hips  _hard_ against Barnaby's, and they were both coming, white fluid spurting onto their bellies as they cried out together.

Kotetsu collapsed on top of Barnaby, and they lay there, panting as their heart rates slowly came back down.

"Wow," Kotetsu breathed.

"Wow," Barnaby agreed.

And when the unpleasant stickiness between their bellies got distracting, Kotetsu got up and fetched a warm, damp towel. He carefully cleaned Barnaby, wiping him down gently before taking care of himself.

He then gathered the younger man in his arms, and the two, exhausted beyond words, fell asleep.

 _We can deal with everything in the morning_ , Barnaby thought to himself as he drifted off, snuggling deeper into Kotetsu's embrace, resting his head along Kotetsu's arm, and breathing in the warm, cinnamon scent of Kotetsu's cologne.

_Yeah, in the morning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudos if you please :D

**Author's Note:**

> Comments water my parched soul. Not really (-cough- really -cough-), but please do leave one if you feel so inclined! :D


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